Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Stupid Boys

In general, I think guys are more stable than girls but every once and awhile they confuse the heck out of me. Like why on earth do they have to be so elusive? I'm friends with a lot of guys and generally we get along. At least until they try to complicate things with feelings of more than friendship. I hope that isn't the case this time and a bad internet/ phone connection simultaneously occured. But I don't know. And maybe I'm just complicating things for myself and really there isn't a complication.

I wish I could have more guyfriends and that when I'm chasing a guy that I want, I get him. Maybe I have to be a little more aggressive, assertive and flirty. Usually some complication comes up and it can't work out. I hate complications. I wish I lived in a world where I could just come out and say, "hey I like you, we should go out sometime." I hate stupid games. I'm also bad at them which magnifies my resentment. And in general I know how guys work I just wish I could fine tune that understanding a little more. But variations in personality might be what is standing in my way. Like I know you can't change a bad boy because there is no advantage for him to change. If you stand by him you approve of his behavior, if you you leave some other chick will take your place. And that's life. I think my blogging will be a lot of blabbing.

Monday, November 16, 2009

In the Beginning

In the beginning can be a very ambiguous statement. This is my beginning of blogging. To figure out a somewhat interesting way to articulate my mishmash of thoughts into a fluid string of words.

The reason for this beginning? There is something calming about being able to send your words into the space of the internet. It reminds me of a message in a bottle- you send it out to the ocean and come what may. Someone may read it and maybe no one will. I don't really care; it's out there.

People write blogs to provide information to friends and family, to vent to the world and everything in between. Usually people write for others- I want to write for myself. Me. That's all. Words are so soothing to me. When there is chaos, being able to convey it in words adds a little order to the situation. I love it.